This story was originally published in The Toronto Star on November 11, 2003. It was my first paid freelance piece, and even though much in my life has changed since I wrote this - as I'm sure it has with artists I interviewed as well - I wanted to share it here as the first blog on Let's Be Unicorns because so much of it remains relevant to people who create.
Questions about time and money management, commitment and dedication, risks and responsibilities are all factors that any artist - aspiring, emerging, or established - faces regularly, and these are all topics that will be explored on this site in the days, weeks, and months to come. So welcome, and enjoy the read.
"If you're going to be an artist in this city, it's a must to have comfortable shoes," says Adrian Toulmin as we settle in at a popular patio on Queen St. W.
As he says this I look down at my own shoes, the soles being held together with black electrical tape, and I can't help but smile and nod in agreement. I know exactly what he means. When you’re often short on cash, you end up walking everywhere possible. Adrian’s a musician, I’m a writer, and we've both put ourselves through lengthy bouts of unemployment, holding out until we get our "big break."
So far all that has come out of it – after over ten years of artistry between the both of us and over a year of unemployment - is a pile of unpaid bills. Hey, at least bill collectors know who we are.
I've heard about musicians who receive regular radio play but they still have to toil away at their day jobs. There are rumours of published authors who are scraping by while working in coffeehouses. There have been backstage whispers revealing tales of performance artists who are hoping the night will wrap up early because they have to be up the next day for an early morning meeting.
So why are so many local artists starving instead of starring? Is it because holding down a job makes it hard to focus on being creative? Should artists take the risk of quitting their jobs in order to dedicate themselves to honing their craft?
Some artists, such as Adrian Toulmin and Carlos Bento, have taken that chance. Others, such as Trish Anderson, feel safer knowing that they have a paycheque coming their way. Each one of them has a story about the demands they face, not only in terms of their art, but also on just trying to get by in the city.
The Unemployed Artist
Toulmin is the guitarist of the Toronto based band daisyface. Currently he works 12 hour shifts Monday through Friday at a downtown bar while squeezing in band rehearsal once a week and a daily guitar practice. Even though Adrian has maintained his music-oriented lifestyle in the past without a job, he does realize that there is a price tag attached to being in a band. There's rent for rehearsal space, recording sessions, Web page maintenance, and equipment, which all adds up. "I could be living in a house with a white picket fence right now if I didn't put all my money into my music ..... it's amazing, though; it shows how much you really want something when money is not even an issue," Adrian says.
Before his year of voluntary unemployment, Adrian worked in the warehouse at the head office of a major Canadian corporation. Once he broke free of the nine to five grind, the lifestyle he fell into seemed to be just what he needed. But Toulmin warns of the downside to taking this route. "I think once you get submerged in ..... that whole creative lifestyle, and interacting (within it), and being yourself, there's no turning back. We all have responsibilities, but depending on how much you want it, (that's how much) you'll put into it.
"In that year I completely fell into that lifestyle and that's it. I'll probably never work a corporate job again, ever."
For painter Carlos Bento, the lifestyle of an artist takes a different approach. He describes his art as a place where reality meets abstraction, a style he honed after he finished high school. He rents a room in the downtown Toronto area that doubles as his living space and studio. He works on and off as a bicycle courier, zigzagging between the working world and the limbo of a limited cash flow.
The costs of Bento's supplies are minimal, especially in comparison to that of a musician. A musician has to factor in costs for equipment such as amplifiers and effects pedals, which start out between $60-$80 for basic functions. Then there are recording studios that can run at around $100/hr; and rehearsal space that is paid for either hourly or monthly depending on the agreement between the band and the studio, with prices rising depending on the band’s needs. Bento is met with simpler payments. He usually pays around five dollars a tube for acrylic paint, and brushes and frames cost him around $10, and even less in some cases. The cost of living is his main concern. "I feel that we should have access to funds, like for serious artists," he begins. "Just have your rent taken care of ... your space. And food would be part of it, but there's always food banks." Food banks, Carlos says, are visited when he’s “on the verge of being broke and there’s no food in the fridge.”
Producing work can be quite a task while juggling a 40 hour work week, though. "Preparing the paints, preparing your space - that's discipline and I kind of lack that while I have a full-time job because I just feel like vegging out when I get home."
For Carlos, being unemployed means being more productive in terms of his art. But for others, the lure of the grocery store wins out over a trip to the food bank.
The Working Artist
Quitting work to be a rock star is not something Trish Anderson is ready to do. Her band, Resident Genius, rehearses six hours a week and plays two to three gigs a month. Anderson takes hotel reservations for a living, but she’s been fortunate enough to have an employer who respects her schedule.
"I read a lot about anarchist groups. They're like `Oh, just quit your job. You can totally focus on your music, your writing, whatever'..... but I'm not quite ready to make that leap yet. But I think about it a lot," she says.
Not that being broke is a foreign concept for Anderson. Having formerly lived in New York, she's no stranger to an empty wallet. "When I lived in New York City it was such a cool place to be but it was so expensive I couldn't afford to do anything. I had a guitar, but I didn't have any money for an amp or strings or anything. I got this guitar and I couldn't do anything with it because I couldn't afford to. My rent was $950 a month for a closet." For Anderson, money is freedom, and since her band has yet to make money from their music - not uncommon for bands - working is the only option for her.
Anderson accepts her current situation. But she is not without resentment towards a society which does not often accommodate artists. "It's funny because they put so much money into the right music and the right propaganda for MTV ..... but they don't care if you're this kid who hasn't been found yet."
The Drive
The one connection all artists share is passion for their work. This desire can drive a person to abandon all conventional ways of life, to accept the fact that making sacrifices could mean it's back to mom and dad's basement or never being able to leave the house when it's raining because you've got holes in your shoes.
No matter how quirky things get, artists just won't give up. "I think that a lot of people don't understand that becoming an artist is just as hard as going through school and becoming a lawyer - it's just as much dedication", Toulmin says. "There is a different approach to it, to what we do, but it all pays off in the end - that person gets to be
the lawyer and this person is able to express themselves, but we both went through the same thing to get there.
the lawyer and this person is able to express themselves, but we both went through the same thing to get there.
“Not necessarily (through) school, but we went through the hardships, learned about ourselves - we all made sacrifices ..... We (artists) are sacrificing not being a part of that posh society where you're supposed to live in a condo and be all hip and cool."
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